A Sad Day

I woke up this morning at 8:15 to 10 missed calls from my mother. I returned the call expecting the worst, thinking something happened to her or my little sister Courtney. But instead, I found out this morning that my step-grandmother passed away after surgery. She has had problems with her left arm since she broke it 1995, and then a few years later had it fused at the elbow at a 90* angle. She kept re-injuring her arm and stayed with one infection or another. A couple weeks ago the doctors came to the only solution they could think of: Amputating her arm right above the elbow.

In all of our expectations, we expected her to pull through. She's strong. But looking back we should have been worried. She had only one functioning kidney and had a permanent catheter. A while back she accidentally shot herself in the stomach, damaging some of her inside workings. Don't ask how she managed that, because I don't know how. She has the worst luck with getting hurt. Even with all the things that was wrong with her, she left us way too young. She was 38 years old. More like a cooky, goofy much older sister to me than a step-grandmother. Her two kids, my half aunt and uncle, were more like niece and nephew instead of aunt and uncle. Old enough to be MY mother if she had me at like 16. My mom was older than her. Some may think that's just weird or gross, but she loved my Papa...and he loved her. I'm not one to judge them for that. I love her and my half aunt and uncle to pieces.

Apparently there was already infection in her body when they amputated the arm. After she got into recovery it spread and her heart gave out.

My heart hurts more for Dub and Rebecca and my Papa...I miss her tremendously and I keep trying to remember the last time I saw her...I hurt because I wish I could remember. I talked to her a few days ago before the surgery...and that was it. An 8 minute conversation. The last one I'd ever have with her on this earth.  I've been an awful step-granddaughter. I should've talked to her more.

Even though I'm sad she's gone, I know she's not in any more pain. She's not suffering anymore. She doesnt have to deal with the catheters and the medicines. The seizures and infections. She's in a better place.

I just pray her kids will be okay, and my papa. I pray Papa has more years ahead of him so the kids don't lose both their parents so soon.

It's been a sad day...